Sunday, June 24, 2007

Things that change


I know it's been a while.

(I believe it's been a month).

And I've not been sure where to pick up again with this.

Things have shifted in my life which don't need going-into here but they'll emerge as I move on.

Since I wrote, returned from Morocco, I've:

Silently retreated to a meditation center in western Mass for 3 days with 95 other seekers. The retreat introduced a lot of fiber into my system, and nearly weaned me off meditation. Now though - legs having regained circulation and my body the toxins of modern life - I can glean the good, and respect the rigors of the simple days. I'm back to meditating but without the breath of others all around.

Driven the Mass Turnpike and found that scarier, and more profoundly effecting, than the retreat itself. My limits were gone-beyond, I faced myself and my fears, I was in the very moment of the Wallmart truck passing at 80mph.

Driven in the NYC lower east side and not been smashed to the sidewalk by a bus or cursed by a cab driver.

Up-ended my life from the calm and security of the upper west side to the unknown and the unsettled edginess of the lower east side.

Counted on many people for support and a room in the city.

Renegotiated my relationship with my house and the Hudson Valley - that they now be called on to provide long stretches of sheltering.

Become a morning runner.

I'm renegotiating a lot of things. And I'll maybe tell some of that here.

C - in transition

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