Thursday, October 05, 2006

From Boston

It's many things that are amazing as I wrap my second full day of wearing my ring from R.

But here in Boston (where it's nicely, new england-ly, fall-ish) it's a little bittersweet.

I went to the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum this afternoon. I took the blue line from Logan, switching to the green at Government Center and the red just now.

How many t trips did Linds and I make together? It was our yellow school bus. A-zillion daily roundtrips Shawmut-Harvard-Shawmut to school ("Shawmut" could exist only in Boston, with brother "Lechemere") and a billion one-off trips to museums, friends' houses, Fenway, Faneiul Hall, Copley, Kendall when dad was in grad school.

Linds and I knew all stop-names, and the way the train slows (still) as it rounds into the Harvard Station - same as in 5th grade, as when Linds was in 3rd.

This afternoon in the familiar tunnels, emerging by the fenway, then entering the turned-inwards beauty of the Gardner's central courtyard, passing through the damask shrouded rooms, seeing a collection piled and hung one above another, so passionately gathered, with such an aesthetic pack-rat's eye, seeing all that one life might achieve and then share, and - well - I was alone.

Alone with my very big news and the ring and, in my old home town, no mom or Linds to share with.
Alone without my R to enjoy all the beauty with me either.

So - amidst so very much beauty - I was a little sad.

And, now in Harvard Square, I'm nostalgic again.

I feel mom + linds so much here - across from the Border Cafe, at the head of the alley where the COOP's lingerie department faced off with academic lady's clothing. Charette seems to be no longer - something chain-ish in its place. Lots more banks, Brighams gone for eons, Newbury Comics staff still smoking on the back stairs of the Garage.

C - channeling the missing in Harvard Square (lecture's in an hour)

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