Tuesday, May 02, 2006

A rhythm to the days - and so the posts

Mom, Linds and me in Turkey (Lake Van, Ahktamar Island) in the 70's (bowl cuts).

In the hospital, almost three weeks ago (?), we traveled between Linds and Hudson. Between grim life-support, drawn faces and the hush of the ICU, we would pass (via Baylor Hospital's labrynth of lightless corridors), to the elevator past the pastel windows of the Breast-Feeding Boutique and then UP. To the 7th floor and the construction papers cut-outs, easter baskets and fresh young nurses of the baby wing. Death into life. We'd arrive for Hudson "fixes", after vigils by Linds.

Life. Flip. Death.

That's what these days have been like (people have been asking). Up and then something triggers and you're once more, peering into the loss.

When I look at this photo, I see mom and Linds holding hands.

Flip - now they're both gone.

Like that.


1 comment:

nancy russell said...

Courtney - I am an old friend of Sarah's and a relatively more recent friend of your dad's. I have never blogged before in my life. But Sarah referred me to your blog. It has been a great support for me -- as I don't want to bother Sarah and David with constant emails -- but I do wonder how they are doing and want to know about the family. Your loss is great - but the tribute you have created for your sister, Chad and Hudson is wonderful. Thank you for this wonderful gift for all of us who are touched by Lindsey's death and Hudson's birth. I hope that producing this blog gives you some solace and peace as well. Nancy Russell---now I have to figure out how to post this.